Third's the New First...

Unless you're in the Olympics.

Or really any race.

Or subscribe to a linear concept of time and are looking at a calender.

In any case, for Ichiro the title of this post rings truer than his home phone being called by any number of third parties.

Ichiro Suzuki has been moved from the lead-off spot (where he has spent the majority of his 10 year career) to third in the order. How Ichiro takes this move could have a lot to do with how the Mariners fair this year.

And so I put it to you Mr. Suzuki (those who know him best know he likes to keep things formal) are you a glass half full or glass half empty kind of guy?
Do you still have a little Wang Chung in ya?
Why not party like it's 1999? (Or in your case 2001 when you took home both Rookie of the Year and MVP honors)

As for the other side of this proverbial coin. Chone (Sean or Shawn to those of us whose parents weren't drunk) Figgins will be the first to assume the lead-off responsibilities.

Now, Chone hasn't delivered so much as a pizza since he signed his 4 year, 36 million dollar deal with the M's two winters ago, but that isn't to say that miracles can't happen...right...right?

Final Thought -
Woopie Goldberg won an Academy Award for her performance in 'Ghost'. Clearly Kevin Garnett is right - anything is possible.

Sunday's "Completly Unrelated Video" of the Day...

Who Here's Excited...?

Earlier this week pitcher's and catcher's reported to camp for the M's in Peoria, AZ marking the beginning of spring training.

What does that mean?

It's December 24th for fans of Christmas.
July 3rd for promoters of freedom and independence.
The third Wednesday of each November for supporters of tryptophan.
June 13th for proponents of oblong pieces of cloth attached to poles.

Ok, that's admittedly a flawed analogy but suffice it to say that the most wonderful time of year is upon us again: baseball season.

In honor of this most joyous occasion, I have decided to offer up some random thoughts I've been mulling over lately in an attempt to promote just how fantastic this news is. It's news so wonderful that anything goes. You, me, parents, uncles, auctioneers, weightlifters...we can all feel free to do whatever we like. That's how insanely wonderful I'm making this news. It effectively doesn't matter what I write about because baseball's back. Everyone has a clean slate, no team's in last, no team's in first. The Mariners, me, you...all of us have hope once again.

As we shove off on our voyage to what is likely 117 wins, I offer these insights into what I think about all day when I should be listening to professors, my girlfriend, and my daughter.

1.) If you were auditioning for 'The Voice', why would you not audition in a chicken suit?
2.) In a month that Subway has deemed 'Februany', how does Quiznos still exist?
3.) Why are car commercials the only advertisements where it's completely acceptable to openly lie? If the Toyota Tundra can't actually pull a jumbo jet, why are you showing me a Toyota Tundra pulling a jumbo jet?
4.) If I Google the word 'google', will my computer catch on fire?
5.) Why is it so socially unacceptable to like Creed and Nickleback? Don't get me wrong, I don't have any concert tees from either musical visionary but I also don't change the station when 'Photograph' comes on.
6.) Let's talk about percentages. No you did not give 110% random athlete. A brief visit to Wikipedia to look up percentages tells us that's impossible.
7.) Why was the first thing I was ever asked to do in a car - "perform a figure 8" shouldn't it have been "drive forward slowly"?

And finally, because why wouldn't I end this random collection of thoughts on number 8 -

8.) Movie previews should really use what they have going for them and stop with all the games. If you have Denzel Washington in your movie than that's it. Him standing, preview over. I don't need to know what the plot is. If he's in, I'm in. Same with Nicolas Cage, except the opposite, him standing, if he's in, I'm out. 


Final Thought -
When was the last time any of us 'Unleashed the Dragon'? For too many of us I think it's been to long...let's remedy that friends. Because it just feels right.

Sunday's "Completely Unrelated Video" of the Day...

My Impression of a Russian Doll...

This blog inside of my blog shall be a blog about blogging in general.

It should be noted that while this blog has nothing to do with the blog topic chosen for this blog class at the beginning of this blog quarter, that this blog should, shall, and will be treated no differently than any other blog inside of my blog.

 Like a Russian doll of awesomeness this blog evolves and morphs to fit the requirements of both this class as well as my daily mood as I see fit. In this moment in blogging time, we will ask ourselves, as well as anyone who cares to listen, things like: "can blogs be literature?", "what makes a blog popular?" as well as just taking a general over-arching look at "why the word 'blog' in itself sounds so silly".

Getting 'write' to the point (classic wordplay) - Blogs can be literature. Simple as that.

While I'm not an expert in the field, what does the word 'expert' really mean? I am at this moment the only contributor to this blog and in that respect the judge and jury of its content.

This is not a universal law however (not many of those exist). Not all blogs are literature - they all simply have the ability to be. We aren't all homeless, though inevitably we all have the potential to be - admittedly unrelated but equally true.
Take a blog we looked at earlier during our time together:

http://idreaminmilligrams.blogspot.com/

This blog could easily be transformed into published work. There's quite a readership out there for the thoughts of an insomniac. The topic is interesting, there's illustrations, and the content is essentially bottomless as it gains more and more traction with each sleepless night. There's hope to be found in the light-hearted nature with which the blogs commander in chief retells the crazy experiences of her forced subconscious and it is in the tone and writing style of the blog that the blog in turn finds its subsequent 'bloginess'.

http://design-fetish.blogspot.com/ - this blog on the other hand (we'll call it the left hand for imaginative purposes) probably couldn't be literature. I'm not going to go as far to say it definetly couldn't as Tom Brady was taken in the sixth round of the NFL draft and Kansas City still has a baseball team so clearly anything is possible, but I will say it would be a stretch. The style and content are pleasing, delightful, and even at times informative, but it's simply not the sort of thing that could be turned into literature. The creativity is in what the blog shares rather than the voice and experiences of the blogger themselves.

As for what makes blogs popular? As someone who lived far before I was born once said: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." They were right. Popularity can't always be explained. I think that clear passion and talent will eventually be discovered however. Applying that principle to blogging: if one is passionate about their writing and entertaining in their execution of it, they will, more likely than not build a following. If they don't it shan't be a worry for them though as they already have the ability and passion to carry on.

Followers should be the surprise at the bottom of the cereal, not the breakfast.

What?

You should buy the cereal because you like it, not because plastic binoculars are taped to the inside of the box.

What?

You should write because it makes you happy, not in some strange convoluted effort to 'win'. People follow stupid things all the time, one only needs to spend 10 minutes on YouTube to figure that out.

This blog has grown since it's inception (Leo) and will continue to evolve.

Science (and The Big Bang Theory)  have taught me that evolution is essential to a species survival.
This blog is a species in this example.
Blogging keeps me fresh, keeps me honest, and allows me the rare opportunity to write without being bound by the classic restrictions of most college classrooms. Whether or not anyone reads this is unimportant. I certainly hope people do, but it isn't why I write.

I write to make sense of the nonsensical.
To put into words what would otherwise float weightlessly through the space in my mind.
To entertain both myself and any potential passers by.

Final Thought -
We were asked in our prompt to use our own blog in our discussion. What fun would that be however without sounding unrealistically vein and arrogant? We will never know.
Warning - bountiful amounts, nay alarming amounts of sarcasm to be used momentarily.

This blog on the other, other hand (assume some sort of surgery took place allowing this hypothetical hand to exist in line with both the right and left as we know them now) is a beautiful hybrid of the two. An impossibly individual marriage between internet banality and deeply meaningful writing. The ability to change lives, as this blog has undoubtedly done, however shouldn't be considered 'regular' or expected of any other location on the internet. Like an oasis in the desert this blog is a welcome respite from the otherwise useless opinions and ponderings of any number of sources one could get by simply 'Googling'. Modesty and self-awareness be damned. This blog is blogging. The question and the subsequent answer. Whatever you were/are/ or may in the future be looking for, you have found it here.

Eventually the Sun Will Explode...

What if that was a reason not to do something?

There's this phenomenon in baseball that I don't understand.
Here's my humble attempt to explain it:

Every now and then a game will be a blow out, that is, the game will be won before it is technically won for one of the two teams involved.

Let's say for arguments sake the aforementioned team is up by 9.

Furthermore, it's the ninth inning.

So, to summarize so far; one team up by 9 runs in the final inning of play.
Additionally hypothetically, there's 1 out and a man on first.

In this hypothetical situation the runner on first attempts to steal second on the 1-1 pitch to the current batter. (It doesn't have to be the 1-1 pitch but that just paints a more vivid image now doesn't it?)

The catcher, upon receiving the 1-1 pitch (a ball in this instance) does not attempt to throw the runner out at second. This is due to an unwritten rule titled (I believe) defensive indifference.
(Note: This may or may not be the name of this phenomenon but I'm not feeling up to Googling things at the moment, you are of course welcome to, but the fact will remain unchanged by the use of its proper title.)

In any case no attempt is made to throw out the runner. He is not granted a stolen base (statistically speaking) Nor are any of the catcher's statistics affected. He is simply a man, standing on second base rather than first for no real reason other than to decrease the likelihood of a potential double play. He is admittedly geographically closer to home as the path of the baseline permits, however is more literally no closer to victory than he was standing on first. At least that's what the unwritten rule would have you believe.

And it may very well be true. In the grand scheme of things that run probably doesn't mean anything and will likely not be the first brick which is layeth down during the oppositions ultimate construction of victory. However, one could argue (and I would like to...fervently if anyone would listen) that the catcher only stands to benefit from attempting to throw him out.

Worse case scenario: You throw the ball over second base and into center field. The runner advances to third. Maybe even scores. Who cares? The unwritten rule states the run doesn't matter. And so it shall be so. What's the difference if he scores now or later?

Best case scenario: You throw him out at second. Win the game, which ends earlier as a result of your heroics (you being the catcher) and you go on to both meet the woman of your dreams and discover an alien life form with mental capacity and bone structure similar to ours thanks to circumstances completely related to that seemingly insignificant decision to simply throw the ball to second.

Final Thought -
The Channel Catfish is the state fish of Nebraska.
In other news, the Channel Catfish is the state fish of Missouri.
...
What's that about...?

Let's Talk About This...

This is exactly why the World Series doesn't have a half time.

This is precisely why Baseball in general doesn't have a half time.

This is also, most importantly, why the Super Bowl should absolutely get rid of their half time.

At least the show portion.

How long do UFC fights take? Replace it with that. Most don't take more than a half hour. Everyone wins.

Here's the problem:
Ever since Justin Timberlake tore an irrelevant Janet Jackson's top off, it seems like the NFL has been scurred (street for scared) to book anyone who wasn't famous later than the 80's. Bruce Springsteen? Tom Petty? The Stones? Madonna? (I realize the Black Eyed Peas performed last year but that was the exception, certainly not the rule)

Watching Madonna hobble around the stage while lip-sinking "Vogue" was entertaining...sure. But for all the wrong reasons. The headliner at the "Super Bowl" shouldn't need their back-up dancers help them not fall over. And everyone watching shouldn't have to call their parents for insight into when and why the entertainer was last relevant.

If you insist on sticking with the musical performance rather than employing the services of the Ultimate Fighting Championship I suggest one rule:
The performer(s) must have a top 50 hit in the last year.

That shouldn't be too difficult. Supposedly the Super Bowl's a pretty big deal.

Final Thought -
How random was it that at the end of Madonna's "performance" the words "World Peace" appeared lit up on the field. Good advice. I'm just not sure of the connection. And hell, if connection isn't important, why not have other random helpful tips pop up during the concert.

I love the idea of having "Don't Drink Milk After You Brush Your Teeth." in big bright lights scrolling across the field.
That would make just as much sense.

Sunday's "Completely Unrelated Video" of the Day...

I Don't Know What I'm Talking About...

That's important to remember when reading this.

Having said that, for the next few minutes I'm going to pretend to understand the business of baseball. The ins and outs of upper management, ownership, and what exactly it takes to put fans in the stands and a winning product on the field.

By now as an avid reader of my blog you know that the Mariners haven't been successful (in the classical sense of the word) in quite some time. You know that this off-season we missed out on the big free-agent prize that was Prince Fielder and you know that I was personally in the stands when the Mariners set the wrong end of their attendance record. It would seem easy to see that something needs to change.

A few years ago when the Tampa Bay Devil Rays changed their name from that to the now Tampa Bay Rays it was because of a change in leadership (whether they got a new owner, new gm, or new shift managers at the concessions I don't recall) but with the change in their name, from "feared sea creature" to "optimistic beam of light" came other changes.

Tampa Bay is in a much smaller market than Seattle, or more importantly than their division rivals, (and enemies of the state) the Red Sox and Yankees. So to compete attendance wise they made a small change that appeared to work out quite well for them.

They made parking free.

Like the nice parking, the kind right next to the stadium, the kind that'll cost you a fresh, crisp Mr. Jackson in our Emerald City.

Now, is that the reason they made it to the World Series that year? Probably. Yes.

Connecting the dots I think we can all see where I'm going with this. Now, I am by no means suggesting that we plagiarize the Rays idea and make parking free. Clearly the overpriced food and seats aren't paying the overwhelming electric bill.

But I think a similar idea would speak volumes and wouldn't necessarily cost the team all that much money.

Let's assume for a second that the team gave away tickets to a game. Just gave them away. No charge. Rather than receiving payment from 18,000 fans on a Tuesday night (which is when this is taking place in my head)  you would let 45,000 fans in for free. Let's assume at least half of them pay for parking and nearly all of them buy at least one item at the stadium (probably not that far off considering nobody paid to get in) You couldn't be that far off what you made hosting only 18,000 fans, with the added bonus of having a sold-out (gave-away-out?) stadium and the moral boost that gives to the team.

I'm certain there are holes. But I'm not certain what they are.

If you're listening Mariners. It's an idea.

Final Thought -
I would expect no compensation from the Mariners for this idea, simply a thank you along with my free ticket like everyone else.
Oh, and you're welcome Seattle.