Who Here's Excited...?

Earlier this week pitcher's and catcher's reported to camp for the M's in Peoria, AZ marking the beginning of spring training.

What does that mean?

It's December 24th for fans of Christmas.
July 3rd for promoters of freedom and independence.
The third Wednesday of each November for supporters of tryptophan.
June 13th for proponents of oblong pieces of cloth attached to poles.

Ok, that's admittedly a flawed analogy but suffice it to say that the most wonderful time of year is upon us again: baseball season.

In honor of this most joyous occasion, I have decided to offer up some random thoughts I've been mulling over lately in an attempt to promote just how fantastic this news is. It's news so wonderful that anything goes. You, me, parents, uncles, auctioneers, weightlifters...we can all feel free to do whatever we like. That's how insanely wonderful I'm making this news. It effectively doesn't matter what I write about because baseball's back. Everyone has a clean slate, no team's in last, no team's in first. The Mariners, me, you...all of us have hope once again.

As we shove off on our voyage to what is likely 117 wins, I offer these insights into what I think about all day when I should be listening to professors, my girlfriend, and my daughter.

1.) If you were auditioning for 'The Voice', why would you not audition in a chicken suit?
2.) In a month that Subway has deemed 'Februany', how does Quiznos still exist?
3.) Why are car commercials the only advertisements where it's completely acceptable to openly lie? If the Toyota Tundra can't actually pull a jumbo jet, why are you showing me a Toyota Tundra pulling a jumbo jet?
4.) If I Google the word 'google', will my computer catch on fire?
5.) Why is it so socially unacceptable to like Creed and Nickleback? Don't get me wrong, I don't have any concert tees from either musical visionary but I also don't change the station when 'Photograph' comes on.
6.) Let's talk about percentages. No you did not give 110% random athlete. A brief visit to Wikipedia to look up percentages tells us that's impossible.
7.) Why was the first thing I was ever asked to do in a car - "perform a figure 8" shouldn't it have been "drive forward slowly"?

And finally, because why wouldn't I end this random collection of thoughts on number 8 -

8.) Movie previews should really use what they have going for them and stop with all the games. If you have Denzel Washington in your movie than that's it. Him standing, preview over. I don't need to know what the plot is. If he's in, I'm in. Same with Nicolas Cage, except the opposite, him standing, if he's in, I'm out. 


Final Thought -
When was the last time any of us 'Unleashed the Dragon'? For too many of us I think it's been to long...let's remedy that friends. Because it just feels right.